Thursday 11 July 2013

HUNTING BUTTERFLIES




















 

HUNTING BUTTERFLIES
Typical Polar Bear Pete, Eskimo Sid, Marjorie or Marj (depending who’s asking) and Nancy Palmer are a bunch of sour grapes: always arguing and chewing at the wrong end of things. Now they’re hunting butterflies and Nancy Palmer has gone and got a pearl-bordered flittirally stuck on the back of his hand.
‘That’s rare, that is,’ says Marj.
‘Might be worth something,’ adds Typical.
‘I’ll jar it and anaesthetise it for good,’ says Eskimo Sid.
‘You don’t kill it if it’s rare,’ says Marj.
‘No, Marj, it’s worth something dead or alive,’ replies Typical.
‘They’re insects, ’ says Eskimo Sid. ‘And I don’t like insects.’
‘Sush,’ says Nancy Palmer. ‘This butterfly might be rare but she’s stuck on my hand and I don’t like things stuck on my hand.’
‘No-one does,’ says Marj.
‘So what are you going to do about it?’ asks Nancy Palmer.
‘Kill it,’ says Eskimo Sid.
‘I thought that would be your answer,’ says Nancy Palmer.
‘Peel it off and mount it with a pin onto a piece of paper,’ suggests Marj.
‘Now we’re talking sense,’ says Nancy Palmer.
‘But we don’t have a pin or piece of paper,’ says Typical. ‘And a pin would kill it.’
‘Good,’ says Eskimo Sid.
‘I’ll place my hand into my mouth and lick it off,’ says Nancy Palmer.
 As Nancy opens his mouth, the butterfly flies in.
‘Anyone got a net?’ asks Marj.
‘I’ve got one at home,’ says Typical.
‘Fat good that is, I’ve eaten it now,’ says Nancy Palmer.
‘Don’t worry, they don’t live long, it would have been dead in a week anyway,’ says Marj.
‘Good,’ says Eskimo Sid.

Lost in Spain





















 
El Burro chants and coughs up globules,
Breathes like a juggernaut decompressing,
Steam exits through his nostrils. It’s a sign!

Monty and Victor are apart from their bicycles
and apart from themselves. The earth splits
and the cacti crackle. Another sign!

‘How does it go: “The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain?”’
‘That’s it, Victor, you’ve got it,’ says Monty.
The buzzard clouds shift and groan. The final sign!

The two friends don’t hear the calling.
they walk and sing the song,
don’t see the falling. No sigh. No sign!